Never to Late

I've realized worrying about the "should of done" is really not even worth my time. I can't go back and change whats already done, but I can change how it effects me. "Pile up too many tomorrows and you'll find that you've collected nothing but a bunch of empty yesterdays." My life has always been about tomorrows I've have realized most my time is wasted planning not leaving time to do the things I planned the day before. Sure planning is good but not to the extreme I use. I need to learn to live in the now worry about what I have to do today not tomorrow. Starting today, I am living in the now not the past or future. Not saying I wont think about them but I won't let it tear me down like I have for so long. I've made it far in my life these few months. I never saw my self in this position last year. I'll be graduating in June, I had given up on the thought of that even happening. Well guess what I am doing it and can. Maybe those people that told me I wasn't trying hard enough were right, I wasn't giving it my all. I was to stuck on the I can't do it attitude, I refuse to be that freight train that left the broken train on the mountain cause I couldn't help them. I will be the small train that stops and helps them up the mountain reassuring my self the whole way up that I CAN. Better to try and fail then not try at all.

I'm done

Scrapbooks

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Funnest few days of my life :)

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

I've realized my friends will not always be there. As much as I want to think friendships last forever, they don't. But as for sisters they will always be there for me no matter the fight we will still end up friends forever in the end :).

Im not a failure I am me

All my life has been about impressing others not about being me. I've realized trying to impress everyone is near to impossible. There's always going to be people that arent happy with you, theres always going to be that one person that thinks your a failure. I just need to learn to live with that. I need to learn to be myself not what everyone else wants me to be. I am not stupid either I just learn different then other people that doesnt make me stupid. I've found the way i learn best and it's definatly not the normal classroom scene, I've found I learn best on my own with occasional help if I need it. I can succeed in school no matter how many times you tell me I can't. Go ahead turn your head in disgust your not hurting me.

I am me.

If only it was easy ....

I've realized over these last few months no matter how much I think I get through life on my own I can't. I need those friends that someone I can talk to without feeling judge someone how really understands me. As I am thinking about this I realize there is only one person on this earth right now that I truly feel I can talk to without being judged. Some people may find this sad but, I am not, I am perfectly ok with that fact. As I thought about this I began to think about this question that has stuck in my head ever since this person asked me "What do you believe in?" .... and when the only answer I could give them was I don't know. Is there really a god? Is he really listening? Do i believe what I've been taught my whole life? Or was it all a lie? When I realized I couldn't answer any of those questions I realized I had just been like every other kid in this world "well my parents say it's true" But do i know? No, I didn't know I was just living off what my parents told me. I still have to come to a conclusion with what I do believe, it has to be ME that finds the truth for myself not everyone telling what is and what isn't true. I do realize this will be hard and there may be times I just want to give up but, I need to know. My parents won't always be there to tell me whats right and wrong. It's time for me to grow up and find out myself.

Recent books I've Read

All of these book are very well written couldn't put them down I'd recommend them to anyone who loves reading. Be ready to cry and get excited about their accomplishments.

fun with sisters 9/30/09

Yes, I know that was like a month ago but I couldn't find my camera then I remembered letting my sister use it, so camera. Me and my sisters Brittany and Lily got bored one night so we decided to go for a walk through our neighborhood and it started snowing it was a lot of fun. and got me out of my house. even if we were in the cemetery past the time on the sign said we could but that's ok. :)

Sigh...

You would think so many things couldn't go wrong in such a small amount of time. We had to people in our ward die these last two weeks, both really great people. My brother in law was sentenced to 5 consecutive 1-15 years in prison. My aunt tried to kill herself. I just keep wondering what next ... seems like nothing good has come out of this week. Well, except going to frightmares that was fun. Even if I did loose my voices .... So greatfull for those few people who are there for me. Don't think i could ever thank them enough for everything they do. All the many hours they spend just listening even if they don't say much they still listen, which means the world to me.

Please Vote For Me :))) you can vote more then once :)

I Know It's Summer When... Brickfish

Road Trip!

My Trip to the Lovely State of Oregon

(pics mostly 8/21-8/24)

The drive there was not all that interesting especially through Idaho. I was glad when we finally got to my grandmas just to be safe :) and to have a bed to sleep in I was exhausted.
Mommy lets stop thereRuined buildings beside road Cool mountain formationsRed Neck CafeYummy zinger just what I need.You wish you had muscles like that.Sink :D Windmills on the mountain side passing the river (finally in Oregon!!) So pretty :)So happy to almost be to grandmas :) Waterfalls on the side of the mountain so pretty :DFew minutes from grandmas woot woot!


Second day of the trip we go on a swimming suit hunt and go to our cousin house.

Walking to the bus stop and waiting. Only went a whole block on the bus woot woot ... haha Swim suit shopping was a hard task now time for lunch :D... and then Dessert :)Poor thing never even had a chance!haha Please can i have him mommy :)
Save me! Roasting the biggest mallows in the world (about the size of my palm!) yummy Wicked awesome pic if i do say so myself :) One last pic before we left to go back to grandmas (aunt and cousins)

Last day in Oregon we go to see aunt Lilian and go swimming and a tour of the town then go to Seaside to view the sunset. (missed it but the beach was still fun) Almost ran out of gas on the way there to haha
Thats right all you Tillamook cheese fans :)Random sign close to my aunt Lilian's house Thanks for the push in the water anut lilian :p nice and cold :) Thats right my aunt has a brick with her name in it at some random park :)Getting pizza after swimmingThe menuRandom phone booth in the middle of nowhere on the way to SeasideNothing more beautiful then looking out at the water and seeing this Running to the waterWashing our feet off after playing on the beachLast pic i took before my camera died. After the beach we went back to grandmas woke up the next day and drove home. On the way home we had two tires blow out pretty sure that was the closeest i had ever been to death. It was a great trip and cant wait to go back again soon hopefully :).