Im not a failure I am me

All my life has been about impressing others not about being me. I've realized trying to impress everyone is near to impossible. There's always going to be people that arent happy with you, theres always going to be that one person that thinks your a failure. I just need to learn to live with that. I need to learn to be myself not what everyone else wants me to be. I am not stupid either I just learn different then other people that doesnt make me stupid. I've found the way i learn best and it's definatly not the normal classroom scene, I've found I learn best on my own with occasional help if I need it. I can succeed in school no matter how many times you tell me I can't. Go ahead turn your head in disgust your not hurting me.

I am me.

If only it was easy ....

I've realized over these last few months no matter how much I think I get through life on my own I can't. I need those friends that someone I can talk to without feeling judge someone how really understands me. As I am thinking about this I realize there is only one person on this earth right now that I truly feel I can talk to without being judged. Some people may find this sad but, I am not, I am perfectly ok with that fact. As I thought about this I began to think about this question that has stuck in my head ever since this person asked me "What do you believe in?" .... and when the only answer I could give them was I don't know. Is there really a god? Is he really listening? Do i believe what I've been taught my whole life? Or was it all a lie? When I realized I couldn't answer any of those questions I realized I had just been like every other kid in this world "well my parents say it's true" But do i know? No, I didn't know I was just living off what my parents told me. I still have to come to a conclusion with what I do believe, it has to be ME that finds the truth for myself not everyone telling what is and what isn't true. I do realize this will be hard and there may be times I just want to give up but, I need to know. My parents won't always be there to tell me whats right and wrong. It's time for me to grow up and find out myself.